statements were extracted from essays written by high school seniors and College
and learn. Not one letter or word
has been changed.
exactly as originally written and there are NO typos.
The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called
mummies. They lived in the Sarah dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of
the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere and certain areas
of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.
The pyramids area mountain range between
France and Spain. The Egyptians
built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.
The bible is full of interesting
caricatures. In the first book of
the bible, Guinness’s, Adam and Eve are created from an apple.
One of their kids named Cain once asked god “hey am I my
God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on
mount Montezuma. Jacob stole his brother's birthmark.
Jacob was a patriarch and brought up his 12 sons to be patriarchs too.
One of Jacob's sons named Joseph gave refuse to the Israelites.
According to the bible Pharaoh forced the
Hebrews to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea where they
made unleavened bread. Unleavened
bread is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses then went up to mount Cyanide to get some orders from god called
the 10 commandments
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing
the Liar. He fought with the Philistines a race of people who lived in biblical
Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history.
The Greeks had three types of cowlums, Dorian Corinthian and Ironic. They
also had myths. A myth is a female
One myth says that mother of Achilles dunked
him in the river stynx until he became intolerable.
Achilles is in the "Iliad” by Homer. Homer also wrote the "Odity" in which Penelope was
the last great hardship faced by Ulysses. Actually,
Homer was not written by Homer but by another man named Homer.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around
giving people advice. They killed
him. Socrates was killed by an
overdose of wedlock.
Life in ancient Greece reeked with joy.
In the Olympic games they ran around and tossed the java.
The victors won a coral wreath.
Eventually the Ramons beat up all the geeks. History calls
them Romans because they never stayed in one place. At Roman bankqwets people
got drunk and wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinquished himself on
the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he
was the king.
Nero was a cruel tyranny
who tortured his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Then came the middle ages. King Alfred conquered all the
Dames in England. King Arthur lived in the age of shivery. King
Harold mustard his troops at Hastings. Then lost. Joan of arch was
cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Victums of the black death died when large boobs
grew under their arm pits. Finally the Magna Carta said that no man could be
hanged mice for the same crime.
In the midevil times most of the people were aliterate. The
best poet of the times was Chaucer who wrote poems and verses. He also wrote
literature. Another story is about William who shoot apple while standing on his
The renaissance was a time when people felt more worth in
their beings. Martin Luther was nailed to a church door in Germany for selling
papal indulgences. He died a horrible death by being excomunicated with a papal
bull. Donatello was called the father of the renaisance because of his love of
the female nude.
It was an age of great discovery and Guttenberg invented
the bible. Sir Walter Ralieh invented cigarettes and Francis Drake circumcised
the globe with a 100 foot clipper.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry the
VIII didn't like woman’s heads very much. Queen Elizabeth was a virgin
queen and her troops shouted hoorah when she revealed herself in front of them.
She beat up the Spanish armadillo.
The greatest writer of the renaissance was William Shakspear.
Shakespear never made much money and is only famous because of all the
stuff he wrote. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives writing tragedies,
comedies and errors. In one of his plays Hamlet relieves himself on a great
soliloquy. In another Lady mackbeth gets her son to kill the king by attacking
his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of an heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time was Cervantes. He wrote Don
Keyhoty". The next great auther was )Milton who wrote Paridise Lost".
Then his wife died and he wrote “Paridise