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American
Civil War Letter
In
1861, a Union officer named Sullivan Ballou, assigned to
the Grand Army of The Potomac, wrote home to his wife in
Smithfield, Rhode Island.
July 14, 1861,
Dear Sarah,
The indications are very
strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps
tomorrow and lest I should not be able to write you
again, I feel compelled to write a few lines that may
fall upon your eyes when I am no more.
I
have no misgivings about or lack of confidence in the
cause in which I am engaged. And my courage neither
halts nor falters. I know now how American civilization
now leans upon the triumph of our government and how
great a debt we owe to those who went before us through
the blood and suffering of the Revolution. I am
willing, completely willing, to lay down all my joys in
this life to help maintain this government and to pay
that debt.
Sarah, my love for you is deathless and seems to bind me
with mighty cables that nothing but omnipotence can
break. Yet my love of country comes over me like a
strong wind and bares me irresistibly with all those
chains to the battlefield. The memory of all the
blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding
over me and I feel most deeply grateful to God and you
that I have enjoyed them for so long. And oh Sarah, how
hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the
hopes of future years when God willing we may still have
lived and loved together and seen our boys grown to
honorable manhood around us. Sarah, if I do not return,
never forget how much I loved you. Nor, that when my
last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will
whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many
pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I
have sometimes been. But Sarah, my dear, dear Sarah, if
the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen
around those they love, I shall always be with you in
the brightest day and darkest night. Always. Always.
And when the soft breeze fans your cheek it shall be my
breath or the cool air upon your throbbing temple, it
shall be my spirit passing by.
Sarah, do not mourn me
dead. Think only that I am gone and wait for me. For
we shall meet again. My dearest Sarah. We shall meet
again.
Captain Sullivan Bellou was
killed a week later at the first battle of Bull Run
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